Bob Parkins, MS, LMFT

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

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Bob Parkins is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Gold River, CA, serving the greater Sacramento area.  As a counselor, Bob Parkins has been helping couples and individuals heal, grow, and find freedom since 1999.

(916) 337-5406

11344 Coloma Road

Suite 440

Gold River, CA  95670

 

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Get help for depression, grief and loss, anxiety, relationship issues, premarital counseling, marriage and sexual issues, sex addiction, parenting issues, life stage issues, healing from emotional trauma, healing from childhood abuse, spiritual issues, and more.

Service Areas

Antelope, Auburn, Cameron Park, Carmichael, Citrus Heights, Davis, El Dorado Hills, Elk Grove, Fair Oaks, Folsom, Gold River, Granite Bay, Laguna, Lincoln, Lodi, Loomis, North Highlands, Orangevale, Placerville, Rancho Cordova, Rio Linda, Rocklin, Roseville, Sacramento, Stockton, Vacaville, Woodland, Yuba City, and  other Northern California cities.

 

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Copyright © Bob Parkins, LMFT, a Marriage and Family Therapy Corporation  -  all rights reserved

 

Couples and Marriage Counseling

Marriage Counseling

 

Modeling and maintaining a healthy marriage is one of the best gifts parents can give their kids.  Although it's normal for couples to have "ups & downs," I find couples unable to resolve conflicts on their own are usually well intentioned, but keep "missing" each other.   These couples may need a little help getting on the same page, learning to share their hearts with each other, and experience deeper levels of intimacy.

 

Couples who have been distant for long periods of time have deeper wounds.  There may be an emotional divorce, affairs, or escalation in conflict (internal and external).  It's usually not too late to save the marriage, but timing is critical.  Couples in distress need help immediately, before they become too complacent to care.  I've discovered the biggest predictor of successful marriage counseling is if the couple seeks help in time.  This means seeking help before either spouse gives up or divorces the other in their heart.

 

I work with couples' emotional interactions, and help them learn to communicate more effectively, resolve conflict, affirm each other, and recognize each other's needs.  I encourage them as they re-learn to nurture and revitalize their marriage after years of neglect, often walking through the painful process of healing from the betrayal of affairs. 

 

Whether your marriage just needs a "tune-up" or you're on the verge of divorce, your marriage is worth fighting for.  I've successfully helped couples AFTER they filed for divorce, and I won't give up on your marriage unless you do.

 

Premarital Counseling

 

The purpose of premarital counseling is to prepare couples for a lifetime commitment to each other.  Many couples who don't prepare for marriage through premarital counseling are handicapped by the blinders of unrealistic expectations and illusions they believe will be the "ideal" marriage.  One of the goals in premarital counseling is to unveil expectations so the couple may enter marriage more unified and able to confront previous denial or unrealistic expectations.  Counseling can also help the couple develop skills of adjusting to circumstances beyond their control - a critical skill for a lasting marriage.

 

The best time to begin premarital counseling is not before the wedding.  Before the wedding is too late.  The ideal times to start premarital counseling is when the couple is deciding whether or not to get married.  When a couple is fully engaged and planning their wedding, they tend to have blinders firmly in place and counseling is marginally effective at best.  Truly effective premarital counseling is really "pre-engagement counseling."  Typically a couple is still open to feedback and information prior to making a final "yes" or "no" decision.  Few couples are wise enough to take the time before the wedding planning starts to build a strong foundation for their marriage - unfortunately, this mistake frequently has devastating effects. 

 

The best preparation for marriage is to discover and dig deep into the couple's issues up front.  Traditional premarital counseling covers several topics, but only at an introductory level.  I prefer to partner with couples to identify core strengths and weaknesses.  Some couples choose to utilize the PREPARE/ENRICH testing inventory to help uncover less-obvious issues.  Then the majority of the time is spent focusing on strengthening the relationship at its weakest points, where it needs growth.

 

Common surface issues every couple should explore prior to marriage:

 

  • Compatibility

  • Expectations

  • Gender specific needs

  • Roles, responsibilities, decision making

  • In-laws and families of origin

  • Communication / conflict management

 

  • Sex & affection

  • Children

  • Faith and religion

  • Finances

  • Past relationships

  • Other issues you may bring

 

Individual Counseling

Counseling for Men

 

You don't have to struggle alone.   If you feel stuck, individual counseling or psychotherapy can help you grow individually and heal broken relationships.  I would love to talk with you and see if I may help you in individual counseling or therapy.

 


Below is a sample of issues I frequently help men work through:

 

  • Men's issues

  • Men's group counseling

  • Sex and pornography addiction

  • Relationship issues

  • Communication

  • Deepening intimacy

  • Sexual issues

  • Affairs & infidelity

  • Depression

 

  • Assertiveness training

  • Boundaries

  • Anger & resentment

  • Grief and loss

  • Low self-esteem

  • Life transitions

  • Religious/spiritual issues

  • Anxiety

  • Trauma/PTSD

Struggling with an issue not listed above?  Contact me and I'll let you know if I believe I can help, or suggest a trusted colleague who can.

Help for Sex Addiction, Infidelity, and Porn

 

Most couples will have some conflict or struggle around sex at some time in their marriage.  I've helped hundreds of men and women find healing from a variety of sexual issues through individual, couples, and group therapies.  I carefully consider the unique needs of each person/couple when making specific recommendations and approaches to resolve their struggles.

 

 

Some issues of sexuality I've successfully helped couples with include:

  • Performance issues

  • Painful intercourse

  • Sexual satisfaction

  • Unconsummated marriages

  • Difficulty Communicating about sex and intimacy

  • Past trauma / sexual abuse or molestation

  • Affairs / Infidelity

  • Sexual addiction

  • Compulsive use of pornography and/or masturbation

  • Loss of attraction to one's spouse

  • Lack of sexual desire

 
 
 

 

You don't have to struggle alone.   If you feel stuck, individual counseling or psychotherapy can help you grow as a person, and heal broken relationships.  I would love to talk with you and see if I may help you in individual counseling or therapy.

Below is a sample of issues I frequently help women work through:

 

  • Relationship issues

  • Sexual issues

  • Communication

  • Recovery from betrayal, affairs & infidelity

  • Sex, & love addiction

  • Depression

  • Anxiety

  • Assertiveness training

 

  • Boundaries

  • Anger & resentment

  • Grief and loss

  • Low self-esteem

  • Life transitions

  • Religious/spiritual issues

  • Trauma / PTSD

Therapy groups for women are occasionally offered by a female therapist.

Struggling with an issue not listed above?  Contact me and I'll let you know if I believe I can help, or suggest a trusted colleague who can.

Counseling for Women

Counseling for Teens

 

After parents share with me what their teenage son or daughter is struggling with, they often ask me one thing, "Do you think you can help him/her?"  I've come to discover the answer is usually closely connected with how a teen feels about coming to counseling.  Do they WANT to come to counseling?  Are they WILLING to come to counseling?  I find teenagers are often very resilient and rewarding to work with, and my success rate with teens who engage in their therapy is very high.

If your teenage son or daughter doesn't appear willing to participate in counseling, there's still hope.  Resistance to therapy is as common as resistance to parents.  Because I am not the parent, I can usually find ways to form connections with teens once we get to know each other.

 

 

Below is a sample of issues I'm experienced helping teens work through:

 

  • Family relationships

  • Friends & peer relationships

  • Behavioral issues

  • Depression

  • Anxiety

  • Pornography and internet addiction

 

  • Eating disorders

  • Cutting & self-mutilation

  • Transitions

  • Low self-esteem

  • Loss & grief

Is your teen struggling with an issue not listed above?  Contact me and I'll let you know if I believe I can help him/her, or suggest a trusted colleague who can.

 
 

 

A group for men who struggle with sex addiction, controlling compulsive sexual thoughts, impulses, or behaviors.  These may include:

 

  • Compulsive and consuming sexual thoughts that interfere with healthy intimate relationships

  • Compulsive use of pornography and/or masturbation

  • Compulsively visiting strip clubs, adult bookstores, or adult theaters

  • Affairs / infidelity

  • Prostitution

  • Behaviors that violate others' boundaries, such as voyeurism or exhibitionism

This is a process-oriented, psychotherapy group.  Although the group does provide generous amounts of support and accountability, it is primarily designed to delve deeper than traditional 12-step or lay-led groups do.  Together we address the emotional needs, wounds/trauma, or roots that have enabled the addiction to continue.  Although we do give numerous tools and techniques to achieve and maintain "sexual-sobriety," these are merely management tools, and not themselves recovery.  We seek to address the heart, emphasizing living from our "authentic self," experiencing authentic intimacy by learning to share from the deeper, broken places of our hearts, and learning to give empathy to one another without judgement, "fixing," or problem-solving. 

 

For those who are just beginning their journey of recovery, research suggests a significantly better outcome for those who actively participate in both individual and group therapy during their first stage of recovery.  As they grow, many can eventually phase-out individual counseling and continue with their group work over a longer season.

Note:   

This group is NOT designed for men who have physically or sexually assaulted others.  If you have assaulted others, are looking for a group designed for sexual offenders or you are court-referred, I may be able to refer you to a group that better meets your needs.

 

Women's Therapy and Support Groups

Support groups for women are occasionally offered and facilitated by a female therapist. 

 

Visit Sue Parkins, LMFT for information about groups that are currently being offered.

 

Group Counseling

Men's Pornography and Sex Addiction Group

 

Christian Counseling

What Christian counseling does NOT mean

 

There’s a lot of confusion about the term “Christian counseling,” and the perceptions and expectations of those seeking Christian counseling vary widely from person to person.  To explain what Christian counseling is, it’s first important to understand what it is not.  Christian counseling is not a specific form, method, or even discipline of counseling or therapy. 

 

 

 

What Christian counseling DOES mean

 

Simply put, the CHRISTIAN in “Christian counseling” merely indicates counseling from a Christian perspective or worldview.  Therefore, Christian counseling is creative, and includes many forms of therapy techniques.

 

 

 

What Christian Counseling means in my practice

 

I am professionally trained and licensed as a Marriage and Family Therapist, but first I’m a practicing Christian.  I hold degrees from Christian institutions with strong integration of psychology and theology (Azusa Pacific University, and Fuller Theological Seminary) and was trained in a prominent Christian clinic (Meier Clinics / New Life Clinics - formerly Minirth Meier Clinics), where I learned to integrate psychotherapy with my faith.  As a Christian Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I seek to faithfully and ethically interpret psychology and modern therapeutic techniques through the Christian worldview, with scripture as the ultimate authority.